Getting healthy

I've not made it any secret that I haven't been feeling myself recently. It's taken all my energy to just do my daily routine so exercise, blogging and generally having fun have taken a back seat. I'm sorry I've not blogged regularly and I'm kicking my butt to do it more often.

But before I move on and concentrate on positive healthy endeavours. I want to reflect on feeling crap in my little corner of the Internet. If I'm being honest I want to be able to look back at this when I'm feeling healthy to think how far I've come. I also think it would be untrue if I only blogged when I'm feeling fit and healthy. 

To put it simply I've had problems with my digestion system for the last 3 months. If that sounds like a simple problem then you've never had digestion problems. The knock on effect of having this problem is that my energy levels, mood and self esteem have all been low. My skin has broken out (all over my body) my sleep is disturbed and I've lost my appetite due to all food causing me pain. I've put weight on, been an emotional mess & cancelled so many social events I'm lucky I have friends left. 

I've been going to the doctors regularly over this period-explaining that I don't feel myself. That my bloating and my discomfort is at a higher rate then what I consider normal for me. I don't want to be down on the doctors they have tested me for more then my previous GPs and was very sympathetic to my tears. But after the multiple blood and other tests the conclusion is that I have a slight deficiency in calcium and vitamin d but not enough to do anything about it. Therefore I am left not knowing what has made my body change or how to make it better. 

I've decided to take control of feeling like crap and I've started making small steps to improve things that I can control like my sleep routine and my weight. I will update you all on what has worked and what hasn't as I step towards getting better the natural way. 

Edinburgh Marathon 2015

So I may have mentioned it once or twice but I have been training for a marathon for the last couple of months and finally on Sunday 31st May I completed it.

It's taken me a while to put this review up as I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I don't have a proud feeling I'm just relieved it's out the way and there isn't another marathon that I've signed up to complete.

My pre-race face is clearly not a happy one. I woke up the most rested I have ever felt for a race, going up early and staying in a hotel obviously works for nerves better then waking at silly o'clock and travelling across London. We got there very early thanks to the event coaches and had plenty of time to walk to my start at Regent Road. When we arrived it was very quiet and wet and nothing like the atmosphere I've expected from other races. There was music and lots of toilets which was ideal but there was no organised warm up or stalls selling food that I expect to see at events (is that just a London thing?) I stood on the start line holding back the tears and ready to run the race as best I could feeling that this would be my last marathon.

For the first 10 miles I was happy plodding along, there was good company my legs were holding out and when I passed my support group at mile 10 I smiled and said "I can do this!" And up until mile 12 I really thought that I could, at mile 12 my hips started to hurt and my strength slowly eroded. I took longer and longer walking breaks but managed to still achieve good time for me and kept on going. At mile 21 my legs stopped wanting to move and I walked the majority of the distance from mile 21 to the end. Having never hit the wall before I felt absolutely shattered, I wanted to sit on the side of the road stop right there. The only thing that kept me moving was that it was cold and raining and if I didn't finish I couldn't collect my bag and get back to the hotel.

I will say that the scenery going around the course was pretty beautiful. You run along the coast and part of the course is around a beautiful country estate. But all the lovely scenery couldn't take away from the fact that I was just running back on myself and having already run that way I knew how long the journey back was going to be! The confident hills I had run down on the way out were now uphill struggles (they weren't really steep I was just shattered.) And the wind which was incredibly strong was now blowing against me. I finished the 26.2miles angry, cold and wet and boy was I grumpy.

You would think after all that I would be done, but at the finish of the marathon you then have a 30-40 (dependent on pace/injury) walk to the buses to take you back. It's crowded and there are queues which I struggled with, possibly because I was disappointed in myself or maybe just because I wasn't prepared. 

I didn't want to take a post race photo. I didn't want to celebrate I just wanted to get back to my hotel to shower and forget about the marathon. I had a nice dinner booked for the evening as a planned celebration but over dinner I didn't feel I had anything to celebrate. 

Two weeks later and I still feel I should have pushed myself more but I wouldn't know where that energy would have come from...but I still feel safe in the knowledge that Edinburgh will be my last marathon for the foreseeable future.